Mahabharata Santi Parva Chapter 81

Mahabharata Santi Parva (Rajadharmanusasana Parva) Chapter 81 "'Yudhishthira said, "If one does not succeed in winning over one's kinsmen and relatives (by this course), they that are intended for becoming friends become foes. How should one, then, conduct one's self so that the hearts of both friends and foes may be won?" "'Bhishma said, "In this connection is cited the old history of a discourse between Vasudeva and the celestial sage Narada. On a certain occasion Vasudeva said, 'Neither an illiterate and foolish friend, nor a learned friend of fickle soul, deserves, O Narada, to know one's secret counsels. Relying on thy friendship for me, I shall say something to thee, O sage! O thou that canst go to heaven at thy pleasure, one should speak to another if one be convinced of the intelligence of that other. I never behave with slavish obsequiousness towards my kinsmen by flattering speeches about their prosperity. I give them half of what I have, and forgive their evil speeches. As a fire-stick is grinded by a person desirous of obtaining fire, even so my heart is ground by my kinsmen with their cruel speeches. Indeed, O celestial Rishi, those cruel speeches burn my heart every day. Might resides in Sankarshana; mildness in Gada; and as regards Pradyumna, he surpasses even myself in beauty of person. (Although I have all these on my side) yet I am helpless, O Narada! Many others among the Andhakas and the Vrishnis are possessed of great prosperity and might, and daring courage and constant perseverance. He on whose side they do not range themselves meets with destruction. He, on the other hand, on whose side they do range themselves, achieves everything. Dissuaded (in turns) by both (viz., Ahuka and Akrura,) I do not side either of them. What can be more painful for a person than to have both Ahuka and Akrura on his side? What, again, can be more painful for one than not to have both of them on his sideI am like the mother of two brothers gambling against each other, invoking victory to both. I am thus, O Narada, afflicted by both. It behoveth thee to tell me that which is for the good of both myself and my kinsmen.' Narada said, 'Calamities, O Krishna, are of two kinds, viz., external and internal. They arise, O thou of Vrishni's race, from one's own acts or from the acts of others. The calamity that has now overtaken thee is an internal one and is born of thy own acts. Valadeva and others of the Bhoja race are partisans of Akrura, and have taken up his side either for the sake of wealth, or mere caprice, or moved by words or by hate. As regards thyself, thou hast given away wealth obtained by thee to another. Though possessed of men who should be your friends, thou hast, however, by thy own act, brought calamity over thy head. Thou canst not take back that wealth, even as one cannot swallow again the food that he has vomited himself. The kingdom cannot be taken back from Babhu and Ugrasena (unto whom it has been given).