Mahabharata Anushasna Parva Chapter 44:3

Mahabharata Anushasna Parva (Dana Dharma Parva) Chapter 44:3 One, therefore, incurs no reproach by accepting for wife a girl that had been promised to another by her kinsmen or for whom dower had been accepted by them from another. "'Yudhishthira said, "When after the receipt of dower for a girl, the girl's sire sees a more eligible person present himself for her hand,—one, that is who is endued with the aggregate of Three in judicious proportions, does the girl's sire incur reproach by rejecting the person from whom dower had been received in favour of him that is more eligible? In such a case either alternative seems to be fraught with fault, for to discard the person to whom the girl has been promised can never be honourable, while to reject the person that is more eligible can never be good (considering the solemn obligation there is of bestowing one's daughter on the most eligible person). I ask, how should the sire conduct himself so that he might be said to do that which is beneficial? To us, of all duties this seems to demand the utmost measure of deliberation. We are desirous of ascertaining the truth. Thou, indeed, art our eyes! Do thou explain this to us. I am never satiated with listening to thee!" "'Bhishma said, "The gift of the dower does not cause the status of wife to attach to the girl. This is well-known to the person paying it. He pays it simply as the price of the girl. Then again they that are good never bestow their daughters, led by the dowers that others may offer. When the person desirous of wedding happens to be endued with such qualities as do not go down with the girl's kinsmen, it is then that kinsmen demand dower from him. That person, however, who won over by another's accomplishments, addresses him, saying, 'Do thou wed my girl, adorning her with proper ornaments of gold and gems,'—and that person who complies with this request, cannot be said to demand dower or give it, for such a transaction is not really a sale. The bestowal of a daughter upon acceptance of what may strictly be regarded as gifts (of affection or love) is the eternal practice. In matters of marriage some fathers say, 'I shall not bestow my daughter upon such and such a person;' some say, 'I shall bestow my daughter upon such a one.'—Some again say with vehemence, 'I must bestow my daughter upon such an individual.' These declarations do not amount to actual marriage. People are seen to solicit one another for the hands of maidens (and promise and retreat). Till the hand is actually taken with due rites, marriage cannot be said to take place. It has been heard by us that even this was the boon granted to men in days of old by the Maruts in respect of maidens. The Rishis have laid the command upon all men that maidens should never be bestowed upon persons unless the latter happen to be most fit or eligible. The daughter is the root of desire and of descendants of the collateral line. Even this is what I think. The practice has been known to human beings from a long time,—the practice, of sale and purchase of the daughter. In consequence of such familiarity with the practice, thou mayst be able, upon careful examination, to find innumerable faults in it. The gift or acceptance of dower alone could not be regarded as creating the status of husband and wife. Listen to what I say on this head.